Paris The Cockney

                                                          http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

This is a really funny website guys  known as  Dialectize a Web Page  You can put a webpage or even a sentance and you get it translated  into some very strange dialect  have a look put in a few of your favorite website or maybe enter that piece of work that your boss really wants on monday morning  and see what it look like if you wrote it as a cockney or a mad swedish chef or even Elmer Fudd or a lazy Redneck

This is a page from my website written as a cockney 

Paris The Cockney

'Allo gentlemen.

Welcome ter the home of Paris - one of the Mae West Bristol escorts providin' a muckerly and accommodatin' escort service right in the city centre.

I'm of mixed race, wiv a luvly complexion, long curly 'air and supernicky wiv a right curvaceous 34DD-27-39 figure.

I adore me work and believe in givin' all me Bristol escort customers the Mae West time possible for their brass, I'm bloody well not a believer in "gettin' yer in and out as fast as possible". Me incall services are amongst the Mae West escort experiences in Bristol, wiv a wide range of mild domination equipment & fantasy uniforms ter delight yer, do wot guvnor! Don’t take me word for it, yer can spot wot me Bristol escort clients say on me review page. Cor blimey guv! "Mae West escort I’ve seen ....", right, "fantastic ....", "never puts the mockers on wantin' ter please ...." gentlemen - 'oo could possibly ask for more ??

Paris of Bristol can be yor perfect companion and escort yer ter dinner or any function or be that sexy minx in bed wiv yer.

I provide escort services in Bristol, Baff, Souff Wales, Wiltshire, right, Devon, Dorset, Somerset and Cornwall. Give us a call now or 'ave a look furffer into me site and spot the chuffin' Souff West escorts service I provide.

Dog and bone: 07939 549043 or email: parisofbristol@yahoo.co.uk

Why not join me Cor group BristolBabe where I regulary post offers and extra details.

This is the swedish chef version of my rates page  Paris of Sweden

Perees ooff Breestul incell iscurts serfeece-a is et a preefete-a und deescreet looxoory epertment in Centrel Breestul. It is seetooeted joost 2 meenootes dreefe-a frum Temple-a Meeds Treeen Steshun veet iesy free-a seffe-a perkeeng.

I ooffffer a veede-a runge-a ooff Breestul iscurt serfeeces incloodeeng oovu, referse-a oorel, 69, tuys fur buys, GFE rule-a pley & uneeffurms. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Meybe-a yuoor Breestul iscurts funtesy incloodes sexy streepteese-a, lepdunce-a und messege-a Iff yuoo reqooure-a sumetheeng oooot ooff zee oordeenery pleese-a feel free-a tu esk me-a.

Ell eppueentments ere-a "Fooll" eppueentments ie-a a 30meens eppueentment is a 30meen eppueentment nut 15 oor 20 meens

• 30 meenootes £60 ell inc


• 45 meenootes £80 ell inc


• 1 huoor £120 ell inc


• 1.5 huoor £180 ell inc


• 2 huoors £210 ell inc


• Ooootcells in Breestul 1 huoor @ £160 1.5 huoors @ £200 2 huoors @£240


• Oozeer Suoot vest erea iscurts serfeeces efeeeleble-a - Bet iscurts, Efun iscurts, Sumerset iscurts - joost cell.

FIP looxoory eppueentments

Frum £230 - 2 huoors ooff foon und gemes et my oovn looxoory huoose-a veet un emezeeng ooootseede-a preefete-a Hut Toob veet TF, DFD & soorruoond suoond. Bork bork bork! Relex hefe-a sume-a foon und get vet und treet yuoorselff tu zee ulteemete-a Breestul iscurt Perees preefete-a eppueentment. Um de hur de hur de hur.

Pleese-a cell me-a oon 07939 549043 tu buuk Perees - Breestul Bet Suoothvest Iscurts serfeece-a.

Pleese-a Be-a Evere-a Thees Is My Ooffffeeciel Vebseete-a und es Sooch ell Fees und uny speceeel ooffffers thet mey be-a leested ere-a coorrent und nut neccessereely zee seme-a es uny fees thet mey be-a leested oon oozeer vebseete-a messege-a buerds und furoom und durectureees. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

Sappnin' gentlemen. 'S coo', bro.

Welcome t'de crib uh Paris - one uh de best Bristol esco'ts providin' some homeyly and accommodatin' esco't service right in de city centre.

I's gots'ta be uh mixed race, wid some lovely complexion, long curly fro and supuh'busty wid some very curvaceous 34DD-27-39 figure.

I ado'e mah' wo'k and recon' in givin' all mah' Bristol esco't customers de best time possible fo' deir bre'd, ah' ain't some recon'r in "gettin' ya' in and out as fast as possible". Mah' incall services is amongst da damn best esco't 'espuh'iences in Bristol, wid some wide range uh mild dominashun equipment & fantasy unifo'ms t'delight ya'. Don’t snatch mah' wo'd fo' it, ya' kin see whut mah' Bristol esco't clients say on mah' review page. "best esco't I’ve seen ....", "fantastic ....", "neva' stops wants'in' t'please ...." gentlemen - who could possibly ax' fo' mo'e ??

Paris uh Bristol kin be yo' puh'fect companion and esco't ya' t'dinna' o' any funcshun o' be dat fine minx in bed wid ya'.

I provide esco't services in Bristol, Bad, Soud Wales, Wiltshire, Devon, Do'set, Somerset and Co'nwall. Give me some call now o' look furda' into mah' site and see da damn Soud West esco'ts service ah' provide.

Rap rod: 07939 549043 o' email, dig dis: parisofbristol@yahoo.co.uk

Why not join mah' Yahoo group BristolBabe where ah' regulary post offers and 'estra details.

07939 549043

Posted at 09:43PM Oct 24, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

New Pictures Now On My Yahoo Group

Right guys -  finally at last i have several of my new pictures  To see them before they are on my website just go to my yahoo group and take a look at my new sexy pictures in the photo albums  

They will soon be on my website  and there will be more to come in the  next few weeks

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BristolBabe/

Hope you like them Guys

Love Paris

Posted at 10:07PM Oct 21, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

jodphurs, boots and a boot puller

This weekend has been great fun for me. I have finally got my new photos taken for my website and they should be up on my website in a week or so. Generally i like to renew my pictures every  4 months or so but its been very hard to get the time to do arrange photos this year . Its quiet hard deciding what sort of theme to do when I get new photos.  I have done various ones with me in the shower, bath, hottub with other ladies and the usual lingerie shots so i like to get eyecatching pictures. 

  I often spend months trawling magazines and  other website to get ideas that I like, so that i can send to my photographers and let them work there magic on me and recapture the images with me

I still giggle madley about  the first time i ever had my pictures done for my website. I turnt up at the studio and i think i scared the poor guy to death. I turnt up with whips chains leather & pvc outfits  (i think the poor photgrapher thought i was going to bury him under the patio) but the pictures were really good and i still use some of them now on my website          

 This weekend I spent the whole of  Saturday afternoon & the evening  in a fab hotel with my two favorite photographers who i have worked with several times before.  Both guys Andy & Steve are great guys and brilliant photographers  each with there own different style of photography.  So this is why i decided that i would probably get two different looks for my photos despite being in the same place

And boy did we get some good photos as i said before i wanted to do a bit of a different look this time besides booking a fab hotel i took a wide range of outfits to use including my new pure white jodphurs and riding boots to capture that Jilly Cooper "Riders"  look and got some wickedly sexy photos of me in my boots and jodphurs  Very hot to trot ....

The only thing is that the photos with the jodphurs and the boots are quite dominating pictures So i will probably get everyone that wants tiie and tease & domination ringing to book me for it . The only thing is is that once the boots and the jodphers are on they are incredibly hard to get off   You actually need a boot puller to take of the boots.  I can just imagine me kicking somone in the face while trying to get my boots of  .but then again if its dominatin that they want they may like it ......       

Then it was into the bathroom and the shower room  for the wet sexy bathroom photos I spent at least an hour in the bath with lots of bubble getting wet and hot and almost drowning myself at the same time twice over but the end results were worth every awkward position that i had toget into and my ruined wet shoes

I was so knackered afterwards that i was in bed by 10.30pm  So much for being in a nice hotel and enjoying myself 

so keep looking they will be up soon  and i will appreciate your comments 

Posted at 09:37PM Oct 19, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

Punternet . More to it

Posted at 05:08PM Oct 13, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

what have i been up to .... keeping my head down literally .....

So what have i been up to recently not much, literally putting my head down and working...Ha  Ha  .......  I have of course been  shopping at the new shopping center Cabot Circus, as im still quite taken with it, apart from the fact that it dose not have a book shop so that is a bit of a dissapointment for a avid book reader like myself.

  There are two films that i want to go and see 88 minutes with Al Pacino  and Righteous Kill with Al Pacino and Robert De-Niro, but have not been able to get around to seeing them yet . 

 Being bored and not being able to find any good books out there at the moment i have taken to re-reading my  old  books such as James Pattersons Jack & Jills and Kiss the Girls and  Val Mcdermont's  Wire In the Blood. (Much much better than the tv series although i do like Robson Green) and also re-reading one of my favourites books the very trashy but great Jilly Cooper's Riders  - be aware  after reading this book several times I have come up with a fab new idea for my new  pictures that I am having done next weekend so  keep looking out for them,  its rather a horsey theme   ....... tight black riding boots and skin tight sexy jodphurs & maybe a horse ........ 

So guys is the collapsing of the banks and the recesion and the credit crunch hitting you in the pocket if so  just remember that i have great unbeatable rates at just £60 for 30mins and £80 for 45 mins and if you can book in advance or before  6pm  then you can get a 1hour at £100  Just ask for these great  rates  

Love & Kisses Paris

Posted at 01:30PM Oct 09, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

New Videos - See My Video Clips

 Hey Guy Im getting new photos done in a few days and  Im doing a few naughty new video clips this weekend  just for you  so keep looking out for them but in the meantime  if you have not seen the ones on my websites 

watch them here and then call me to book  :

 http://www.playtimewithparis.co.uk/Media/Video/introclip.wmv   Touch Me Kiss Me Fuck Me

http://www.playtimewithparis.co.uk/Media/Video/video2.wmv      Get Wet Hot & Sexy With Me

I will have new ones this weekend so keep watching .................

Love Paris

                        Come & Relax With Me
                           All Next Week 
                   Daytime Appointment 1 @ £100
                      After 7pm usual prices  
                
                
                        Treat Yourself  
               Have A Splash & Get Wet & Hot With Me     
                 Sexy Hot & Wet Hotttub Appointments

1 HOUR TUB Appointment   £140 ( 2 HOURS MIN NOTICE REQ) 
 
1.5 Hours Appointment    £170 (2HOURS   MIN NOTICE REQ)
  
2 Hours   Appointment    £200 ( 2 Hours MIN NOTICE REQ)

       Or Call Early To Book - Call Me From 8am To Book  

Busty Well Established Escort In Bristol Visit Me At My Apartment or my own Home with luxury Outside 8 seater Hottub    

Other Appointments Availble 
30mins @ £60
45mins @ £80
1hour  @ £100  Special Rate For Daytime Appointment 11 - 6 pm 

Read My Great Views See Me Videos and then call Me Early To Book
Call Me From 8 am to book an appointment with me
Avaiible 11 am till late
 
Make sure That You See My Video Clip Below  

Posted at 08:24PM Oct 03, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

Just for October -Come & Get Wet Hot & Sexy With Me Enjoy My New 1hour Hottub Appointments

                              October Wet Hot & Sexy and Availble for you

                                http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BristolBabe/

                      join my yahoo group for the latest special offers and availbility   

For those of you who fancy a Hottub appointment but dont want the whole 2 hours  For the month of October I am offering  a New 1 hour hottub appointment @ £140, alsos availble are  1.5 hours @ £170 and  2hour hours @ £200

Due to the how popular these appointments are they are extremely limited and will normally only 1 appointment availble in the morning during the week ie from 10am ( earlier by request) untill generally midday  but you will need to book in advance or call me as early as possible a min of  2 hours notice is required for these appointments  O ccassionaly with advance bookings the hottub appointments will be availble on the evening after 8pm but again a min of 2 hours notice to book this   

They will also be availble on weekends throughout the day from  11am till late but most likely they will be limited to a max of  2 hottub  appointment a day over the weekend so its advisable to book in advance to avoid being dissapointed   

P.S

If you cant get hold of me as i said before try Harvey Nicks in Cabbot Circus as at the moment its my new home  

Posted at 10:57PM Sep 29, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

Finally ..... Absolutly Fabulous Dahlings

Finally after spending £500 million, almost 10 years of planning, building, sweat & blood, of  the 59 different nationalities of builders that  worked on the site and not forgetting total and utter traffic gridlocks for the past 3 years  & probably lots of brown envelopes stuffed with cash  to give to the local Council.  Bristols much awaited shopping center Cabot Circus opened  yesterday having being planned since 1998 it finally opened its doors  ( actually it dosnt have any doors) yesterday at 12 midday by  model Yasmin Le Bon wife of Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran .... say no more ...    

Now no offence intended but Yasmin Le Bon hardley has any real ties with Bristol as far as im aware so why not Justin Lee Collins Or The Guy Who Play Darth Vadar at least they are true Bristolians and people know who they are 

But that small mistake  aside we have a fab new shopping center with over  120 new shops and its totally  brilliant.   I have been there 3 time since yesterday afternoon already and im not even a great fan of shopping for clothes. In fact i rather buy a good book to read but Cabot Circus is really really cool

Its actually really hard to remember what it was like before all the work started. . We  now have loads of really cool shops that tend to be found  in either  london or Manchester.  Bristol now has  Ghost, G-Star Raw.  Zavvi.  Raymond Blanc's Brassier Blanc,  Lk Bennent, Hugo Boss, A brilliant Apple store, Zara, Molten Brown,  Fat Face, Kurt Geiger ( shoes my one weekness) Mango All  Saints and loads of new resturants and cafe bars but for me the jewel in the crown as far as im concerned  Harvey Nick's for the handbags and shoes  

I cant belive it Harvey Bloody Nicks in Bristol.   Whatever next.   I mean were supposed to be  farmers with combine harvesters down here in Bristol ......Harvey Nick's .....  Absolutly Fabulous Dahlings as Patsy &  Edwina would say   

 And we have an amazing new cinema delux where you can be served your food while watching the latest new films even better

Now Im off now to Harvey Nicks to get some Bolly......  and to see about buying a new Combine harvester to plough my garden with ..... absolutly fabulous Dahlings

See You all soon

if you cant get hold of me try Harvey Nicks  

Posted at 03:26PM Sep 26, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

Im on a roll now to educate you

Im on a roll now to educate  you in Brizzol Speak   

Not only is Brizzle a unique city to visit, we also have our own distinct local dialect! Fans of Little Britain's "Yeh-but-no-but" Vicky Pollard will already be familiar with the dulcet tones of the Bristolian accent, but for those new to the city here's our quick guide to how to speak Bristolian!

'Awwright me babber' or 'Awwright me luvver' (Alright my friend?) are Bristolian greetings, and you may wish to add 'Ow biss?' (How are you?)

Bristolians are warm and welcoming, we pride ourselves on doing a 'proper job', if you're lost just ask 'Where's it to?' (Where is it?) and if you like something, it's 'gert lush'.

Yer tiz (Here it is) Innit (Isn't it) Wern it (Wasn't it) ant (hasn't) are just a few of many words unique to the West Country dialect. L's are frequently added to sentences, so 'Idea' becomes 'ideal', and 'mind' is added to the end of sentences to emphasise 'You know what I mean'.

Around the city you may find yourself in 'Bemmy' (Bedminster), 'Embray' (Henbury) or 'Taardown' (Totterdown) or you may venture further afield to 'Baff' (Bath)

And if you're travelling by bus, then don't forget the obligatory 'Churz drive' (Cheers/Thank you driver) as you disembark

Posted at 12:41AM Sep 20, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

And if your from Somerset its even worse

Although im a Bristolian its not just us Bristol luvvers that get the pissed taken out of them . Those that are from Somerset  are treated just as badly  

So you know you are from Somerset when   

you've bought stationery in Bastins
you think Bath's a big city
you can tell sheep from goats
you know why to avoid Bridgwater
you think Bristol is 'up north'
 venturing outside of the 30 limit is just unnecessary
chinese takeaways that deliver, what are they?
 the smell of cow sh*t makes you feel at home
everywhere else in the UK feels cold
you have a friend who lives on a farm
you live on a farm
you learnt to drive in a field or on a beach
you live in a cottage
your home has a thatched roof
you think nothing of paying £20 for a 2 mile taxi journey
you've been stuck behind a stupid tourist on a country lane
you saw the total eclipse in '99
your local newspaper's is 'cow falls off bridge'
you turned to drink, drugs or heavy metal at an early age
your friends say you sound like a farmer
you have nothing to do after 5:30pm
you think pink wellies are a fashion statement
you know how to walk over a cattle grid
 you've been pony trekking
'short and choppy on the North coast' makes total sense to you
you think nothing of grass growing in the middle of the road
 everyone you meet has been to Butlins in Minehead on holiday
despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, you think a young farmers'disco is a wild night out
 until you went on holiday, the tallest building you had ever seen was Debenhams in Taunton
 you've reversed for 3 miles when you met a stubborn tourist on a country lane
 it takes you 4 times longer to drive anywhere between May and September
you pack a thermos, shovel and blanket in the car because the HTV top story was snow forecast in Bristol
you're a closet fan of The Wurzels
your second cousin is also your sister's stepmother
your neighbours' average age is 76
your best friend goes joyriding in tractors
you can't stand the grockles, despite living off their money
you thought it was normal for more than 50% of your high street's shops to be operated by charities
Biggest story on the local TV news is a cat locked in a shed for 2 days in Yeovil
Second biggest story, man fell off his bike in Glastonbury

Posted at 12:08AM Sep 20, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

Bristol Is Not Part Of Wales

 Apparently many people seem to think that Bristol is in Wales. For those people who do not own a sat nav or even did geography at school Bristol is in the West Country.  It is NOT part of Wales.   Apparently many of those living elsewhere in the country believe that Bristol is in, or might as well be in South Wales. I have lost count of the amount of time when away on holiday when i tell people that im from Bristol ( for those who are hard of hearing and don't recognise the accent ) they say Ah Bristol that's in Wales.

I mean Wales is another country (well technically) For Fucks Sake.  Its  Across the bridge, a very big Bridge i have you know and you have to pay to enter the country  but you dont have to pay to leave so i will say no more.   

Now I love my West Country accent. But it dose not sound Welsh not in the slightest.  My friends even get me to say certain words cos it makes them laugh and they like to take the piss.  I don't care, my accent shows where my roots lie and i'm proud of that! So if you cant understand me when you call me here are a few more useful phrases for you to learn

Your not a proper Bristolian if you can start a word beginning with H. 

Ideal in place of idea – that's a good ideal /idea
Bart 'nil" for Barton Hill,
Lorne's ill" for Lawrence Hill,
"Ray-Joe Bristle" - Radio Bristol,
"Rub Sheep" - Rubbish Heap,
"Bem- Breckfuss" - Bed and Breakfast,
"Claps" - Collapse,
"East Dregs" - Easter Eggs,
"Een Pos" - Evening Post,
"Gloss Trode" - Gloucester Road,
"Moira Wave Life" - more of a way of life

Posted at 12:01AM Sep 20, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

Some Famous People

If you are thinking of a reason to visit Bristol and you are not sure just think of all the famous people besides myself of course who were born here and live here   

Some famous Bristolians - 

My Mum   ( only by association to me)

Paris B  Well Established local Escort and Lady Of Pleasure

David Prowse; Who played Darth Vader and the green cross code man

John Cleese   Faulty Towers - Who can forget the War & Manuel and the Hotel Inspector  

Carey Grant    Probalby the most famous and well known -  Born Archibald Leach in Horfield, Bristol, Grant's first role in theatre was working at the Bristol Hippodrome. He made over 70 films and became one of the best-loved actors of all time. He remained a regular visitor to Bristol, usually staying in the Royal Hotel, now known as the Bristol Marriott Royal

John Cabot Italian born explorer who sailed from Bristol to Newfoundland on the Mathew  in 1497

Harveys Bristol Cream

Ian Holloway

Billy Butlin   Im sure we have all been to Butlins  

Deal or No Deal  - is filmed in Bristol 

Animal Magic Filmed at bristol Zoo

Shoestring    Filmed on the waterfront with Trever Eve

Only Fools & Horse was filmed in Bristol. Nelson Mandela House exteriors were filmed at a housing estate in Bedminster and the episode 'Heroes and Villains' where Del and Rodney run down the street dressed as Batman and Robin was filmed in Broadmead 

The Young Ones  The student sitcom starring Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson was filmed in and around Redland

Lee Evans - Lee Evans, how could people forget

Black Beard - Yes the pirate, is from here !!!!!

Edward Blanket - Yes he invented the blanket a long time ago

Richard Amerike - funded cabot and America was named after him

Nick Parks (wallace and gromit creater & morph),

Tony Hart from BBC Take Hart (late 70's).

Sid Vicious went to Clevedon Community School

Banksey is from Yate.    (Outskirts of Bristol) ,  Unfortunatly i dont have any of his paintings but if anyone wants to buy me one ....or two ...... i will not refuse  

J K Rowling  ( also Yate/ Winterbourne )

Cathy Barry  ( The Ultimate Bristol Porn Star )

Julie Burchill   

Big Jeff

Portishead  ( the Group not the place)

Matt lucas            Went to Bristol University   Little Britain

David Walliams     Went to Bristol University   Little Britain

Neneh Cherry   Singer

Sean Moore (Manic Street Preachers

Massive Attack, Tricky, Roni Size, Portishead

 The Wurzels 

Hugh laurie and Rowan atkinson both live in bristol

Justin Lee Collins   Friday night is not the same without him

Vicky Pollard - based on that girl that everyone in Bristol knows from  Hartcliffe  

P.S

Father Xmas, Ghandi and God are all from Bristol....  I have met them all personaly and can vouch for them

Posted at 11:23PM Sep 19, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

10 reasons to be proud of being a Bristolian

10 Reasons to be proud of being Bristolian and living in Bristol .

1.) The accent. Its a unique selling point, who doesn't find a voice like a farmer fucking sexy?
2.) You'll never meet a thieving scouser
3.) You'll never sound like thieving scouser
4.) You'll never have a gun thrust in your face
5.) You'll never be mistaken for sounding like a brummie
6.) There's the piece of mind of knowing that we are further from scotland and france than most englishmen
7.) Cardiff is close enough to never to go to
8.) There's a bridge which seperates us from the another country   

Posted at 10:54PM Sep 19, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

For the Record

Continuing on my Theme of  my home town Bristol here are a few more home truths about us from the West Country

For the record:

 We don't all talk like Wurzles and besides, Bristolian was voted the second most friendly accent in the country.

 We don't chew on grass.

 We don't all live on farms.

 We don't have brand new combine harvesters and if we did, we wouldn't give you the keys.

Posted at 10:54PM Sep 19, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]

The Moral Of The Story Is

I was sent this joke by one of my clients which i thought i would share with everyone else

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

Posted at 12:21PM Sep 15, 2008 by paris in My Blog 2007 / 2008  |  Comments[0]