Coleen Rooney is officially over the “granny gags” about her husband Wayne Rooney’s teenage misadventures. She’s putting her foot down harder than a soccer ball at a penalty kick and telling everyone to knock it off already!
Wayne’s past antics with a grandmotherly sex worker have been the subject of one too many jokes, especially after a recent episode of The Rest Is Football podcast. Gary Lineker, Micah Richards, and Alan Shearer laughed along as Paul Gascoigne cracked wise about Wayne’s “granny” escapades from his rookie days.
But Coleen isn’t laughing. “Wayne's granny business is older than dial-up internet. Can we move on now?” she’s said to have quipped.
Back in 2004, young Wayne was caught on CCTV making repeat visits to a Liverpool brothel, including one with Patricia Tierney, a 48-year-old grandmother with the unforgettable nickname “Auld Slapper.” Coleen, 38, thought she’d finally put the incident to bed—along with the questionable bedding choices—in her autobiography, explaining Wayne’s indiscretions were more like drunken stumbles than affairs.
Coleen’s hoping that’s the last time she has to play defense against 20-year-old humor. “It’s not the 90s, and Wayne’s not still wearing hair gel and baggy jeans,” she sighed. “Can we all just retire these old jokes, along with the flip phones?”
Meanwhile, Wayne is rolling his eyes and laughing it off. “I hear worse in the locker room,” he said, probably while dodging a soccer ball thrown by his teammates. But Coleen’s not amused. “She’s told Wayne to put a stop to any more ‘granny’ references,” says a source. “She’s had enough of feeling like the punchline in a joke that should’ve ended when pagers went out of style.”